January not only meant a bright new year, it also meant that I turn 20.
Honestly I wasn't excited for it as much as I should've probably.
Yes this means finally stepping into adulthood, but this is exactly what scared me.
I was thinking about it for the whole autumn (at least) and realized that things aren't as they were (oh really?).
Suddenly you start thinking of things that wouldn't bother about just a few years ago (or even a year ago)!
Now, getting a job is almost the first thing on my mind, and if few years ago "a job" meant spare money only, now what it means to me is: getting my own place to live, pay for the university tuition, pay the bills and yes, spend a good amount of money on concert tickets, food and maybe some cloth (merch).
But the worst thing is that everyone thinks of you as a adult now and that you HAVE to do 'adult' stuff from now on. Suddenly the world has SO MUCH expectations from you (not even mentioning the parents).
I guess in my head what I don't like is not the number 20 and becoming an adult really, but the thing that now I worry about the stuff that I don't want to worry about yet! I'm not ready!
And also I do feel like the clock is ticking and soon I'll be 80 years old lady that haven't accomplished anything. This is not only scary, but also sad as hell.
Hopefully with a time I'll get used to it, and will try to finally get a job, so I can properly experience what 20 feels like :P
20 years old....
TWEN-TY!!!
Honestly I wasn't excited for it as much as I should've probably.
Yes this means finally stepping into adulthood, but this is exactly what scared me.
I was thinking about it for the whole autumn (at least) and realized that things aren't as they were (oh really?).
Suddenly you start thinking of things that wouldn't bother about just a few years ago (or even a year ago)!
Now, getting a job is almost the first thing on my mind, and if few years ago "a job" meant spare money only, now what it means to me is: getting my own place to live, pay for the university tuition, pay the bills and yes, spend a good amount of money on concert tickets, food and maybe some cloth (
But the worst thing is that everyone thinks of you as a adult now and that you HAVE to do 'adult' stuff from now on. Suddenly the world has SO MUCH expectations from you (not even mentioning the parents).
I guess in my head what I don't like is not the number 20 and becoming an adult really, but the thing that now I worry about the stuff that I don't want to worry about yet! I'm not ready!
And also I do feel like the clock is ticking and soon I'll be 80 years old lady that haven't accomplished anything. This is not only scary, but also sad as hell.
Hopefully with a time I'll get used to it, and will try to finally get a job, so I can properly experience what 20 feels like :P
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